The Re-creation of Memory
The Re-creation of Memory
The story of my family seems to continue anew, the shifting of borders and the shifting of perspectives operating simultaneously. When Paulina’s postcards from her family stopped arriving in New York, I can use my imagination and Barbara’s thoughts to feel what their experience might have been. In the chaotic post-war period did Marco and Paulina find all of their family?
I consider myself partially an observer, yet also intimately impacted and intertwined with the events and traumas I am observing. The “deterritorilization and reterritorialization” (Deleuze & Guattari, 1987, p.10) of my extended family became a story of deep complexity. I felt and lived a discomfort that was passed down through generations. My experience was of a discomfort of not knowing the stories but feeling the sorrow regardless. I felt the stories through silence. I wonder still, about Paulina and Marcu’s experience.
After hearing Danny, Rachel and Yael’s stories I am aware that there are puzzling part answers. “They all perished” was a confusing partial statement that filtered down through time. Understanding the facts that were revealed by my cousins, my mother’s statement is not surprising. There were, generally, horrific losses among Jews and there are individuals today who continue to suffer terribly from their grief and trauma. I know now, that there were terrible losses in the previous generation of my extended family, some whom I heard about during my visit to Israel, and possibly some that we cannot discover.